When Life Is On A Parent’s Side- Taking Advantage of Natural Consequences

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Please comment below- When have you used natural consequences to teach your kids?

 

Life is tough and unforgiving… But every once and a while, the stars align and Karma comes through for you!

Every once and a while, life does the parenting for me!

What are Natural Consequences?

Natural consequences are life’s way of teaching.

Basically, every time we act, there are good and bad ripple effects of what we do. If there are more good than bad ripples, we consider that action to be a good thing and we continue that behavior. If there are more bad ripples than good, that behavior is a negative one and we stop behaving that way.

There’s no teacher to plan out and enforce the rules, they just happen. We just learn from the good and bad effects of our actions without someone to control the outcome.

Parents have a goal in mind to help their children become the best people they can be- people who will choose to send good waves into the world through their actions.

That’s why we correct our children when they act out. That’s why we try to teach them skills that they will need- like being responsible, being kind, building strong relationships with people around them, managing money and time effectively, and being a good citizen.

In order to encourage our children to act the in an appropriate and responsible way (so that they can become what we want them to become), we often set up our own rules, along with consequences for breaking those rules.

The awesome thing is that we don’t always have to set up rules and consequences. Sometimes life does it for us!

One Parent Who Had Life (And a Wise Dentist) on Her Side

A while back, I had a client with special needs who struggled to brush his teeth. He didn’t like doing it, he hated that his mom was always asking him to do it.

In desperation, this good mom tried many different techniques to encourage him to brush his teeth every day. She tried sticker charts, she tried various apps designed to help kids with self-help skills, she tried hand-over-hand, she tried being silly and making it fun, she tried immediate rewards after each time he brushed… She tried everything she could think of.

Most of the time, when she implemented a new strategy the child would comply for a day or two and then relapse. He was just as frustrated with the situation as his mom was.

And then one day, I came to visit the family. I checked up with his mom to see how he had been doing with brushing his teeth.

All she said was, “Watch this.” She sent him to the bathroom, asked him to brush, and stood back while he cleaned his teeth completely independently. No help, no bribing, no encouragement, no plan. He just did it.

I couldn’t believe it!

When I asked what changed, she explained that he had a dental appointment. It had been at least a few days since he had brushed when he went to visit the dentist. His mom spoke to the dentist privately and filled the dentist in on the problems they were having.

So this wise dentist had a one-on-one chat with the child. He didn’t try any grand plan or implement rewards or consequences. All he did was explain to the child what would naturally happen to his teeth if he did not brush.

Now, this good mom had briefly explained it to the child- usually saying something like, “Your teeth won’t be healthy” or “Your teeth are dirty.”

But the dentist did much more- He showed the child pictures of the stages of tooth decay. He showed the client how teeth turn yellow, then brown, then black, then fall out. He explained that it can hurt and can mean extra dental visits and procedures.

He didn’t try to exaggerate facts or scare the child into submission (if anything he was very careful to keep it G rated). He simply stated some of the bad things that would happen if this habit continued in a clear way, using visuals to help the child understand.

And that’s all it took.

That’s the power of natural consequences.

Now, every parent knows that there is no single strategy that will fix all your problems.

But give it a try! What if it’s exactly what you needed?

How to Use Natural Consequences

Here’s how to do it.

• Step 1: Identify what the problem behavior is.

A while ago, my daughter started dumping out her juice onto the table every time we sat down to eat. She would wait until we weren’t looking because she assumed she would get in trouble. At first, I thought she was spilling on accident, so I asked her to help me clean it up and we moved on.

After a while, I started to catch on to the pattern, so I watched a little closer. Sure enough, she was pouring out her cup and watching the liquid spill out and run across the table. At first I was frustrated, but after trying to see things from her perspective, I realized that it probably did look pretty cool- like a waterfall or a stream. I love watching waterfalls.

I didn’t want to yell or put her down, but I did want her to learn that you can’t just pour out your water anywhere.

• Step 2: Think of natural consequences to the problem behavior.

I tried to brainstorm all the possible consequences that I could implement. I considered not filling up her glass again after she spilt it… After all, if the drink is all gone, then it’s all gone! But I am very careful not to use natural consequences in a way that could at all endanger my child. In this case, I didn’t want her to get dehydrated or maybe choke on her food if she didn’t have a drink to wash it down with.

I also considered asking her to drink out of a sippy cup instead of a real glass. I know she would have hated that because sippy cups are for babies. I didn’t end up going with this solution for two reasons: 1- I didn’t want to shame my daughter or make her feel bad about herself and 2- this technically isn’t a natural consequence- it’s a consequence of my own invention.

After a lot of thinking, I had an idea.

• Step 3: Decide on a safe consequence to implement. Allow the child to make the mistake in order to feel the natural consequence.

The next time she poured out her juice, I helped her clean it up but this time I refilled her glass with water instead of juice.

• Step 4: Explain the consequence to the child so that they understand why it is happening.

When she asked for more juice, I told her that she already had her share of juice. I explained that if I gave her more juice, there wouldn’t be enough for the rest of the family to have some.

Then I calmly suggested that next time, it might be best if she decided to drink her juice instead of pour it on the table.  

And guess what? She never spilled intentionally again! (To the best of my knowledge… hahaha)

Every once and a while, when a child wants to try a behavior that I have discouraged repeatedly (and one that is safe!) I go ahead and let him try it out.

It doesn’t take long until he realizes that mom knew what she was talking about.

I once saw a video of a kid shooting himself in the nuts with a nurf gun. Yeah, that was pretty funny. I’m sure there was a natural consequence that taught him something that day. Not from his mom. From life and his real experiences. And I bet he learned it better than if mom had just told him about it, too.

Positives of Using Natural Consequences

• It Makes Sense

Natural consequences are so easy for a parent to use because they are logical.

All you have to do is explain to your child the natural progression of events if their behavior continues. Think to yourself, “Why don’t I want my child to act this way?”

For example, I don’t want my child to be mean to other children because then she won’t have friends to play with. People won’t want to be around her if she is mean to them.

I don’t want my child to spend all her money because then she won’t have money left when she needs something.

I don’t want my child to skip homework assignments because she won’t master the material. If she doesn’t master the material, she will feel confused during later assignments that build on what she is learning now.

• It’s Honest

Do you ever hear parents trying to exaggerate or scare the child into behaving?

I do understand the temptation to do that. It can be effective and that’s hard to argue with. The problem is eventually that child will find out the truth, and then you’ll have to face the fact that you lied to him.

Natural consequences aren’t lies.

They’re the honest to goodness result of a person’s actions.

Honest parents never have to worry about if the child has discovered their secrets. Honest parents never have to worry about if the child is hearing the truth from friends at school. Honest parents never have to worry about accidentally letting something slip. Honest parents can relax.

No hiding. No shame.

Natural consequences are a great way to do that, without losing efficacy.

• It’s Not a Temporary Rule

Notice in all my examples above- the parent doesn’t have to contrive these scenarios.

It’s just how life is!

That’s what separates natural consequences from chore charts, and sticker rewards, and even praise- All those things take YOU to implement. That means, if you’re not there, a child might not keep up the behavior that you wanted.

But natural consequences are universal. They won’t end after the child leaves your side. He can go to school, he can hang out with friends, he can move out and leave for college, he can raise a family of his own- and through all this these principles still apply.

Not like that chore chart. That only applies as long as you are enforcing it.

Parents who use natural consequences are teaching a lifelong skill of understanding how a person’s actions affect yourself and others in the long run.

• You don’t have to be the bad guy

This is the BEST!

You know how when you take away your teenager’s phone she curses your name and says that you are ruining her life?

You know when you tell your middle schooler to do his homework and he claims that his stupid teacher gives more homework than all the other teachers and there’s no good reason why he should have to do it?

You know how you try to get the kids to help clean the house and they treat you like a dictator?

My favorite part of natural consequences is that nobody can blame me!

I didn’t make the rules. That’s just life!

It’s really nice to have some of that parent blame taken away. I didn’t ask for this to happen. I didn’t make it so. I am just a kind person trying to help my child avoid some mistakes! And I finally get the credit as such. 😊

When NOT to Use Natural Consequences

Now that doesn’t mean this is a perfect fit for every situation. Like all parenting strategies, we have to be conscious of when to use natural consequences.

Here are a few situations when I avoid using natural consequences:

• When a child is too young to understand

Natural consequences can be difficult for kids under age 4 to understand.

If you can shorten the logic to one or two sentences, maybe it could still be helpful on a 2-3 year old.

For example, I tell my daughter “You have to sit in the car seat because it keeps you safe.” At 2 years old, I’m not sure if she fully understands what I mean, so I usually pair this with another parenting hack.

For example, “You have to sit in the car seat because it keeps you safe. But the car seat makes you tall enough to see out the window! What animals can you see? I see a cow!”

• When a child wants to do something unsafe or illegal

Sometimes, a child wants to try out something that isn’t safe, like not wearing a seat belt. Of course, we can verbally explain natural consequences to help him decide to buckle up, but we would never want to let a child actually experiment with unsafe actions just to learn the natural consequences for himself.

Same goes for unsafe sex, dressing inappropriately for weather, playing with knives, trying drugs, etc.

Sometimes the consequences are just not worth trying out. And a child’s safety is always most important! 

Give natural consequences a try, and let me know what you think!

Let life be the bad guy for once. Turns out, life is a pretty good teacher anyways!

Please comment below- When have you used natural consequences to teach your kids?

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

Please share with any parent who is trying to teach their kids!

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How To Survive a Tantrum in Public (Ages 3 and Up)

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Please comment below- How do you help your child calm down in public?

 

It’s just another day running errands.

I’m juggling a shopping list the length of my forearm, a wiggly child who is constantly touching things, and a purse that must have an anvil in it, judging by the weight.

I’ve barely walked into the store when we walk by the toy aisle. (Why do they put the toy aisle right by the doors so we have to walk by it every time??)

And the rest is history.

You all know the story.

1-For my little one, it starts with pointing and jabbering on about the coolest (and always most expensive!!) toy.

2-Then, the heartfelt plea. (“Please, please, please, please!! It’s all I’ve ever wanted in my whole life!”- NOT TRUE. Haha)

3-Next come the promises. (“I’ll never ask for anything ever again!”- Let’s place bets on how long this will last. Anyone for 5 minutes? Anyone? Nobody? Yeah, me neither).

Of course, I’m trying to calmly and logically explain all the ins and outs of money, and how we have to work hard for it, and how we don’t have a lot of it, and how we don’t always get the things we want, and how sometimes we have to wait and work hard before we can buy things.

4-And then Fit Hits the Shan.

She clenches her fists, then her whole body tenses. She is so uptight that she starts shaking all over. She releases all that tension in one blood curdling scream, then she sobs and falls to the floor, crying. She refuses any help to calm down. If I try to pat her back reassuringly, she hits me. If I try to hug her, she pushes me away. If I try to hold her, she does the limp noodle thing.

Even though it’s the same old thing I deal with every day at home, it’s so much worse in a public place!!

EVERYONE is watching…. I can just imagine their thoughts right now.

• “What a terrible mom.”
• “Is she seriously going to allow her child to act like that??”
• “Can’t she do something about this?”
• “That child needs some discipline.”

So…. What am I supposed to do????

• Minimize the Circus Show

My first step is always to find a quiet place to handle the problem. This puts me back in control my minimizing the embarrassment and getting me into a parenting mindset. 

Basically, the point here is that the attention from other customers makes me a little less suited for handling the situation because I’m distracted by my feelings of embarrassment. I’m not a good mom when I’m not focused on my child’s needs. But that’s not all! The attention from other customers can make your child feel overstimulated or encourage them to continue the battle for the battle’s sake.

So trying to fix a major tantrum right in the middle of all the chaos of a packed grocery store or restaurant just doesn’t usually work.

The more things are going on, the harder it is to focus.

Find a quiet place. That could be a bathroom in the store, it could be an empty section of the restaurant or an empty aisle, or it could mean walking back to your car for a break.

Sometimes it’s not possible to find a perfectly calm and peaceful location. In that case, go to the QUIET-EST place available to you… even if it’s not entirely silent. The point is to help you and the child focus on the problem and on a solution.

• Listen to the Signs My Body is Giving

Your body mirrors the chaos that is going on around you. Your heart rate elevates, your blood pressure rises, your vagal tone increases, your breathing becomes more rapid. Watch for these signs in yourself because they keep you from feeling calm.

That’s why I always recommend the same calming techniques- count to 10 (this keeps you from reacting and gives you a chance to think), take deep breaths (slowing your breathing slows your heart rate), and take a break (allows you to focus on your body and take the time needed to control your physiological reactions).

Only when I have control of my own body can I be effective at helping my child.

I’ve found that these are great teaching moments too. If my little one sees me using deep breaths, she is more likely to try them herself. I can turn an unpleasant situation into a positive example for my daughter to learn from.

• Don’t Give In!

Remember, your child is learning from each experience they have with you.

You don’t want them to learn that tantrums are effective ways to get something that they want in an inappropriate way. If a child learns that mom or dad will give in to their demands, the tantrums can be longer, louder, and more intense than they were before because it’s the fastest way the child knows to get something he wants.

No bueno.

Instead, model for your child how he or she can get what they want and need in a positive way. Remember that at the root of every tantrum is a legitimate need! The child is just trying to communicate with you. If you can help them do so in a positive way, then you’ll both benefit.

If you really feel the pressure to give in to a tantrum, think of something very easy that the child can do to earn what they want rather than just giving it to them. For example, let’s say the child wants a piece of candy, so he starts jumping up and down and yelling. Rather than just offering the candy (which would be rewarding them for having a tantrum), say “You can have a piece of candy if you ask nicely for one.” In this way, the child is being rewarded for asking for the candy rather than being rewarded for having a tantrum.

Don’t teach a bad lesson without meaning to. Be intentional in your response! 

• Treat it Like Any Other Tantrum

All tantrums have the same rules.

1-Think from the child’s perspective to see if there is an easy solution. Maybe the child is hungry? We can fix that! Maybe the child is bored? We can have races or he can write on the shopping list or he can help me spot the next item I need- anything to make shopping fun! Are we shopping right before nap time? Maybe I can change my schedule around to go at a different time.

2-Be conscious of the opportunity to teach the child something with this experience. Remember the values you want to teach and find a way to incorporate that into this situation.

3-Don’t just react- be intentional in your parenting. Make sure you are calm and ready to handle the situation appropriately.

4-Follow through. Never give in to a tantrum. Rather, remind your child of an appropriate way that he or she can meet the need at the root of the tantrum. Help the child practice asking nicely or using effective communication.

Obviously, this all looks good on paper.

The application is another story.

The hardest step for me is to stop and think before I react to the situation.

I find myself thinking of better ways that I could have handled the tantrum after the fact.

But that’s ok because I find that I fail like 10 times in a row and then on the 11^th time I remember. The only reason I remember is because I have thought 10 times of how I would like to handle the situation next time. All this repetition finally sticks in my head and the 11^th time is successful.

So don’t get down- just keep preparing for next time until you remember.

• Keep Trying!

There is one more step that I recommend to parents.

In all this, our overall goal is to help the child learn appropriate ways to cope with a situation that she doesn’t like– some sort of public activities like shopping or eating at a restaurant. Of course, we have to be patient and give the child as much time as they need to learn those skills. Nobody learns a new skill overnight.

But it’s important to keep trying to teach a little more whenever the child is able to handle it- and that means returning to the situation. Yep, I’m saying to please bring your child back to the store sometime. It doesn’t have to be in the same day, or the next day.

But keep trying! Give the child lots of heads up so that he knows what to expect, remind the child of different ways that she can cope with being in the store, and let her know that you’re on her side. Try to set yourself up for success by taking care of the little things- make sure she’s not tired or hungry or bored. Then give it another go! 

I like to empower children with a word or a sign that they are getting frustrated or overwhelmed. Then, we can take breaks from doing something they don’t like to do- and avoid a full blown tantrum. Even if the child cannot talk, this can be a great time to utilize infant signs, like “all done”.

Children get better and better with practice and patience. Don’t loose hope- you and your child will be better for your struggles! 

 

I hope these tools make you feel a little more prepared for your next day of running errands.

Keep up all your hard work as a parent and don’t fret about the small things.

Please comment below- How do you help your child calm down in public?

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

 

Share with any parent who has dealt with a tantrum in public!

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What Parenting Is All About

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Do you ever have perfect parenting moments that make it all worth it?

It was so great to accidentally catch one of those on film!

Love my baby!!!

 

What amazing parenting moments raise your spirits? What makes this all worth it to you?? Comment below!

I could seriously just watch that video over and over again. She’s so happy, and silly, and cute, and giggly!

I wish my cute baby would stay like that forever. I don’t want her to ever grow up.

Feeling so blessed! Go home and hug your families! I’m going to do the same.

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

 

Please share with any parent who needs a pick me up!

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Old Parenting Trick Resurrected- “Suck It Up”

Photo by Reinaldo Kevin on Unsplash

The wisdom of generations before us!

If only obvious things were, well, obvious… to everyone.

We all need a good laugh in the middle of the week, right???  🙂

 

For other parenting ideas, click the image below!

How to Handle a TANTRUM without Destroying Relationships

Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

 

If there is one all-encompassing word to describe “when fit hits the shan,” it’s “Tantrum”.

This is everything from stomping feet, to flailing on the floor, to screaming, to physically attacking people and things. It’s basically a name for every parent’s nightmare… especially if tantrums happen in public.

In our case, tantrums started when our baby hit 13 months. She will tighten up her hands into fists, her whole body shakes, and she screams bloody murder. This is usually followed by crying and falling to the floor. Sometimes when my husband and I try to help her calm down, she will push us away or hit us.

So, being good, responsible parents…. What are we supposed to do?

• Think of the Child’s Perspective

Children usually have a good reason for their actions, but it can be hard for them to tell us what that reason is. Unfortunately, kids struggle with communication. It’s not their fault. Honestly, lots of adults suck at communication too.

When we stop and really look at why the kid is acting out, usually we can find a good reason that we’ve overlooked.

• Maybe a situation really isn’t fair.
• Maybe he’s hungry and that makes him irritable.
• Maybe he’s tired so he’s grouchy.
• Maybe he’s bored.
• Maybe there’s so much going on that he’s having sensory overload.
• Maybe he needs your attention but doesn’t know how to ask for it.
• Maybe he wants an item that someone else has.
• Maybe the physical limitations of being a kid are frustrating (I can’t reach that, I can’t take the lid off, etc.).

Even though some of these things sound like “kid problems,” ALL of them involve real feelings. So take a second, look around, think, and see if there is an obvious need that can be met. Sometimes this solves the problem before we even get started.

I try hard as a parent to avoid writing off the situation because, no matter how insignificant the problem seems when compared to adult woes, it matters to your child!

• Give The Child Tools

Various developmental stages require different responses.

Babies don’t tantrum- they cry because it’s the only way they have to communicate.

Toddlers are just barely learning to use words, so encourage what words they do know and model new words until they can master those too. This stage requires a lot of patience because if a toddler doesn’t know a word, the only other communication he knows is to cry.

Children who are old enough to speak fluently can learn to master their emotions by learning to calm down and practicing expressing their wants and needs to adults calmly.

Help a child be just a little bit better than they were the day before. Teach a new word or skill and be excited for them when they make tiny steps towards implementing that new word or skill! Even if they get frustrated, you can still notice and reward their positive efforts! 

• A Learning Experience

What do you want your child to learn? What do you want them to become? This varies depending on your values as a parent.

• Some parents want a child to be independent.
• Some want the child to know how to empathize with others.
• Some want kids who can problem solve.
• Some parents want children to learn to cope with their emotions.
• Maybe you want all or a mix of these things.

Your focus will probably change depending on how old your kid is and what their strengths and struggles are at the moment. If your kid is good at empathy, you might focus on something else… maybe problem solving. Or maybe you want to perfect that skill so it’s exactly what you want to focus on!

It might even change from one tantrum to the next based on the circumstances.

Whatever you value, make that your focus and tailor all your reactions to her behavior based on what you are trying to teach.

Sometimes, it is really tough to think past the initial problem to focus on bigger issues like independence or problem solving.

Of course, we all want the best for our kids. The next step will help with getting past the day to day frustrations so that you can focus on the bigger picture.

• A Fresh Outlook

The big thing to remember is that each tantrum is a teaching moment.

Usually, your natural reaction in these situations isn’t to teach- It’s to put an end to this behavior as quickly and as effectively as you can.

Stop for a second. Take a deep breath, take a break, count to 10, use a calming tool (click on the image below!), whatever you need to do to delay that initial reaction long enough to think it through. Intentional parenting is always better than just reacting.

If you lose your cool and yell at your kids…. Who’s learning? The kid? Nope! You? Hopefully!

Well, let’s halt. That’s not entirely true…. A kid can learn from these moments but they don’t always learn what you want them to.

• They can learn that yelling is an appropriate way to handle tough situations, even though it isn’t.
• Or, if you have a resilient child, they might learn that being yelled at isn’t fun and that they don’t ever want to yell at other people. We all hope for this, but unfortunately most kids fall in the first category.

If this happens, don’t be afraid to go back and make it a teaching moment after the fact. You can show your little one how to say sorry. You can teach them how to fix a relationship that has been bruised. You can help them practice forgiving another person. So all isn’t lost!

Don’t beat yourself up if you have imperfect parenting moments. Those… oddly enough… are good for kids because they open up a whole new world of teaching moments for you, so don’t think you have to put on a perfect face for your kids all the time. Kids need to see someone handling mistakes well if they are to be expected to handle mistakes well themselves.

I have found that this is the most difficult part for me. To just stop before I say or do something I’ll regret later.

And having enough humility to apologize to my kids. Sometimes I feel justified for yelling because I was right and the kid was wrong. But that’s no way to live life and not how I want my daughter to learn to act either. (Click the image below for a great children’s book to teach your child about apologizing!)

This is usually the last straw that helps me get over myself and go apologize to my kid.

She’s always so kind and forgives me right away. But I’m not so kind. I don’t forgive myself as quickly.

This might be a perpetual problem for parents. Or at least for me. But it is something I’ll keep working on.

With the community built through this blog, we can all help each other learn to forgive ourselves for our parenting mistakes.

• Carry Out your Teaching Moment…. Even if it’s Hard.

Remember earlier when you decided what you value? Now it’s time to make that happen.

This isn’t easy.

First of all, make sure you find a better solution to the problem and show your child how to implement it! This shows the child that he can be proactive in finding a solution rather than getting upset. You can work through the stages of problem solving and think critically together. Of course, early on, the parent does most of the brainstorming, but as the parent slowly gives the child more and more involvement in the process, the child becomes independent at thinking of solutions on his own.

So, find out what the kid wants, then offer him an appropriate way to work towards that goal without behaving in a way that is hurtful to others. 

• Using words is one of the best ways for a child to earn something they want. Use one of these phrases:
  • “Say please.”
  • “Tell me what you want and I will get it for you.”
  • “Ask nicely.”
• If a child is tantruming about a task, give a shorter version of the task before allowing them to take a break.
  • “You don’t have to clean your whole room now, just pick up one toy, then you can have a break. But you will need to finish the room after you calm down.”
  • “You don’t have to finish your homework now, just keep working for one more minute. Then take a break. But you will need to finish your homework after you calm down.”

I’ve seen parents make the mistake of making it really, really, really difficult for the child to earn the thing that they want. This teaches the child that it’s easier to yell and scream rather than try to do what you’re asking, so they will just keep up the tantrum.

Offer your child a really easy way to earn the thing they want. Then, the positive behavior is clearly a better option over the tantrum. .When the easiest choice is the positive behavior, the child is more likely to use it.

Then you can slowly increase the difficulty of the task once the child masters the easier things.

• Clarity and Consistency

But what about when you’re just plain tired? Sometimes… It’s just easier… to not. Not do anything. Not worry about teaching. Not follow through.

I have noticed that if I give in even once, the tantrum is worse the next time and harder to get rid of.

It’s so much better if my child just knows what to expect from me. If she clearly knows that mom means what she says because I’ve always followed through in the past, then she doesn’t test me. If she isn’t sure if I will follow through or not because I didn’t follow through last time, then she’s more likely to push my buttons.

As difficult as it can be to be consistent in the moment, I keep myself straight by thinking of the bigger problems that happen when I fall off the wagon.

I’ve seen kids who rule the roost. They dominate the household while their parents cower before them and meet their every want (not their every need- their every WANT!). It’s seriously like watching a dictator bossing around his servants. Here’s a few of the memories I have from these households.

• A 5 year old beating his dad, who had a disability, by jumping onto his back, kicking and punching him repeatedly, and yelling hateful comments about how lazy and worthless his dad was.
• A mom terrified to run errands because of how powerless she felt with her children. She couldn’t go shopping without buying them whatever they wanted, and it was ruining the family financially.
• A child who could eat whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. His parents would ask him not to but didn’t have the courage to really stop him. As a result, his health was failing. He was overweight, had diabetes, and frequently needed medical intervention.
• A child who ran away from his parents every time he didn’t get his way almost got hit by a car. Not like, the car was generally near him. He really ALMOST GO HIT. He got the candy that he wanted.

I’m afraid of these scenarios.

I’ve promised myself that I will never, ever allow my home to look like that. I was lucky enough to see this before I ever had kids, and it changed my parenting for the better.

Just remember, fixing is much, much harder than preventing.

 

Make the choices daily that will create a better life for you and your kids.

Don’t give in to tantrums. Instead, teach positive skills!

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

 

Please share with any parent who deals with tantrums every day!

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